Mute — Figuratively not Literally

It appears I’ve been rendered mute. Not literally, thank God. If anyone recalls my bout with laryngitis last year, you’re aware that I don’t take too kindly to not speaking. I mean figuratively mute. It’s been more than two weeks since I last wrote and to be honest, I feel like I have nothing to say. I’m not quite sure why this is. My best reasoning is that my life has evolved greatly since I began writing this blog.

It’s not yet two years  but the point where I was mentally then is much farther than where I am now. I am calmer and more secure in myself and my life. I feel settled. Just the act of trying to have a child is an indicator that things are way different. I’ve always wanted kids but at that time, I just wasn’t ready.

I started this blog for a reason. I did something unthinkable to someone I loved and I needed an outlet for my guilt. I succeeded, and now since the storm has settled, and my mind and body have too, my feelings are not as tangled.

So I’m not sure where that really leaves now. It’s good, for sure. But now the motivation to explore and make sense of those complicated feelings is very low. I guess that means that I may be mute for a bit until I find a new voice.

Crazy Days

There are days where I feel like I’ve just wondered into crazy town. I look around me and think, “Really, this is life when I’m not dreaming?”

Today…work was crazy. I’ll stop there because I really don’t want to whine. I’d like some wine, but alas I settled for some vodka and a South Beach dried juice pouch. Yes, I’m living the high life.

So here’s what I say to days like today — laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. When you’re stressed to the point of tears, not sure if it’s just you or everyone else out there, when you want to throw, kick, or hurt something, just laugh. When you laugh, what else is there to do. Nothing.

Though, I’d suggest not laughing at your boss when they have a particularly crazy moment. Though entertaining, it usually doesn’t go over well. I’m speaking from experience.